an evening walk

walking in shadow
cast by darkest night
i turn around to face you
while stepping into the light
i find myself standing alone
no more the sounds of footsteps echo
which were dancing between walls a moment ago
i stand erect, turn around and continue on my path
taking long strides through the moon lit night
feeling the warmth of light deep within
the guiding grace of assured step
a smile spreads across my face
there it is, melodic notes
deliver into my ears
unveiling a path
in minds eye
guiding me to a dance
of light and magic
joy and delight
a weight lifted
a dream answered
all smiles in warm tones
a feeling of home.

reborn, intensely anew
one earned by enduring separation
being torn apart by some long distance
whether philisophical or atroscities tendered
there will come something else in which will remain
something which will fill in between the lines of unsaid words
it is devoid of anything of tangible substance to us
but safe within lay a place of collections
of things gathered and stowed
stored and hidden
stacked and stored
with all keys thrown away
deep within vaults will be built
around each threads root
tied to each piece
it is my duty
to love
to be present
in everyday moments
standing strong
sure and secure of self
of you, of everyone around me
we cannot know how alone someone is
even when we stand in crowds
but someone somewhere
needs a smile
needs love
it is not charity
it is kindness
aren't we all apart of it?
of humankind?
human kind.
kind human.
human.

human to human.
thats what i'll be.
at least i'll try
because there it is again...
i'm human
and humans make mistakes
humans can learn from our mistakes
so can we?
will we?
the only way
is not an easy way
it means facing things
things we do not wish to face
this will not be the most difficult
for what your mission will be is far more
challenging you to face it down and learn to forgive
forgive all of those things which have rooted
in negative ways within ourselves
taken hold and bitten into bone
release whatever binds you
and finally release it
forgive and let go
forgive
let go.

move on
pay it forward
move forward and face everyday
with grace and strength and courage
remembering to be human, while figuring out what that is
realizing we truly are not alone we can stand together
no matter how much time has passed this is true
we are all human beings here together
the rewards for helping others
before ourselves
are divine...


__________________
in the words of a poet: 

“To err is human; to forgive, divine.” 

       Alexander Pope (1688-1744)
       English poet 

 

(untitled)

everything bleeds pain
loss
deep deep loss.
there has to be meaning
there has to be a reason
cut to the core
to stunned to speak
to think
to eat.
what have we become
what could have prevented
the loss
the torment
the motivations
the blind asinine reasons
so much hurt
so much pain

speechless

there is nothing that can really put into words what this all feels like

surreal

but what can i do?


 
i will smile when i see another person
i will acknowledge and try to treat others the way i hope to be treated
i will move forward
i will pay it forward
i will kill it with kindness
i will try to exercise empathy in my everyday life
regardless of where i am inside
i will do my best

so that all of those beautiful smiling faces will continue to smile....through me. through my smile, I will honor all of those taken far too soon.

i will show love and hope
peace and respect
human to human

(i wish to extend my sympathy to those affected by events today in Connecticut. in my thoughts and prayers..) 

for my mom's 70th...

Seventy birthdays with many more to come
Every birthday celebrated with love & laughter
Very soon friends gather to join in the joy
Extending their birthday wishes to you
Naturally, you'll light the room with your smile
Together, we will celebrate a milestone! the BIG 7-0!
You light up my life & I'm thankful for you.

Happy Birthday

______________

I made a birthday card this year & this is what I wrote inside to commemorate the milestone birthday my mom just celebrated.
I went the cheesey-route & made it spell out seventy at the start of the sentences.  My mom didn't realize it at first that I made it for her. So, I guess it was convincing enough of a saying inside for her! ;)

willing to fight

lyrics from ani difranco's song willing to fight

tell me whose your boogeyman
thats who i will be...
you don't have to like me for who i am
but we'll see what your made of by what you make of me
i think its absurd that you think that I'm the derelict daughter
 you know i fight fire with words
words are hotter than flame
words are wetter than water...

_________________

thoughts off this...
there are times when lyrics from a song put into words what we are feeling.  they seem to capture the emotion, the intent, the raw moment etched in time in our minds.

hearing these lyrics, like I have many times before...this verse always has a way of making my mind wander to the place thats bothering me in my life. as the words drift out on their melodric trip into my creative space, a door opens within the subconscious & welcomes me in.
it is time to face what i don't want to. but i will do it for the one, the one who needs me to be the boogeyman. i will sacrifice all for you...

i enjoy how this addresses what I've explored a few times within my blog...the effect words have. in our day to day lives...how they can cut to the core or bring the most fantastic of moments forever blazing within our hearts. They can make our hearts smile or cause the tears to flow.

songs can carry us back to moments in time
they can help fix a memory, providing the soundtrack to recollection for years to come
they express our emotions
our desires, hopes & dreams
our failures, losses & all those things we've lost along the way
they get us new jobs
they get us into colleges
they may bring love before us after writing a love letter
words are present all the time....

some day may it be that the words we use, only share love, hope & peace...paying it forward. so there will be no need to fight fire with fire in the form of hurtful words. sometimes strung together in blind rage, or in hope to put another in place.

let us use our words to bring grace and charm to our everyday lives. for if we are able to bring one smile to another human's face by a simple compliment....the ripples that extend outward could set in motion a better perspective of ourselves & others from within moving out. at least one can hope :)

________________

if you'd like to hear the full song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-aHmq1U6lRs&feature=share&list=PLC4F752BD2CE7B28A