a phone call

a phone call
changes my mood
rips the rug out from under
leaves me speechless
gasping for air
fighting the hot angry tears
dreading the future
of whats to come
the perfect facade in the light of day
but alone, it crumbles...falling away
i listen for the soft tink
as each piece falls.
once the facade is lost,
more pieces follow
like dominos falling over
as if checking themselves off a list
the smile is gone
my clear mind becomes chaos,
taking the slippery ride into the abyss.
i let myself feel it all
only for a short while
before i have to pick the pieces back up
and figure a new way to stick them back together
to hide the chaos i've so carefully buried
by rebuilding the perfect facade.

its almost too much to bare...

again...

wasn't once enough?

i will be there thru it all
i will be strong for you
i will prepare for it
i will care for you

and i will do it alone.
because there's no other way...