regrets

i find myself standing in a sea of regrets
how did i get here?
why!?
because i was afraid
because i was weak
cannot bare to face it
but in turn i've lost everything
the chance is gone
collecting dust in the past
what is there to show?
regrets.

i swore i would never allow it
never allow another regret to take hold
but there the little bastard is
gleaming black eyes
daring me to try
to make it right
to irradicate it
but can i?
will i?
fear of judgement?
or fear of acceptance?

whats there to lose
when i've already lost everything?
when the one thing i wanted
is gone
forever residing
in the lost-n-found for the universe
nestled nearby those things never spoken
can i look into the mirror
be proud of what i didn't do?
be proud of whats in the past?
of whats left?

broken pieces remind me
of where it used to be
deep within protected
incomplete and haggard
war-torn without fighting a battle
lined up behind all the rest
never again
well...as they say...
never say never
go choke on the cliche.
frustrated as hell at myself
could everything have been different?
there's no way to know
when i fall into shadow
take the out
walk the plank
rather than fight for it
how can i have the epic movie ending?
if i never take a risk

silently shouting until the cords are raw
drawing blood, a brilliant ribbon of crimson
the meat that remains is scar tissue
forming around the regrets
that have found their home
their new residence
in the hollows within
surrounded by the pieces
each tied to a time
when i let me get the better of me
i let me lose
i let me....

regret.