powerless

what do you do when you are powerless
when you have no control
when your only choice is to stand back
observe quietly, never react

she doesn't get it
she doesn't see
she's asking so much
i already watched one of you
feel like alex with my eyes held open

silence is the only way
but at what cost
its leaving me cold
its leaving me sad
but when i challenge reality
then its gone
the warmth
the loving comments
the laughter
replaced with the snipes
the scratches
the distaste

how can you be two different people
i should know the answer to this one
and
i do...
but
i just thought....
i just hoped
i needed to believe
i want to

but you've changed me
and i don't know how to let go
i can't leave you to do this alone

bound to be the best i can to you
i'll heal myself later
for now i savor the good stuff
and tolerate the bad
because ultimately i can't change
who you are to me
but i can still hope
i enjoy whatever time i have